Rent a Cat

It became clear recently that we have a mouse problem bordering on an infestation. The only one I got a clear view of was a harvest mouse, so the rest probably are too – coming in to the eaves out of the cold.

Being methodical in your thoughts doesn’t necessarily help much. How did they get in? Well, experts tell us that they can ooze through incredibly small holes. One expert I watched on Youtube said he used a Biro as a test. If he could stick his pen into a hole a mouse could get through it. So the possibilities are several. We need ventilation under the floor boards. If we don’t have it we risk wet rot leading to dry rot – a much more serious problem than mice. So we can’t just go around blocking off the vents. A fine mesh is required which will let air in and keep those pesky mices out.

And then there is entry underneath the bottom row of slates directly above the gutters. I have sealed a few obvious holes with metal wool but Biro-sized holes? There is no way I could find them all let alone seal them.

So I have been trying live traps, intending to remove these troublesome creatures to a safe distance when caught. But I’m still waiting to catch one.

Some might suggest poison, but I am very reluctant to go down that route. Firstly, it’s no way to die. And secondly, if the mouse dies in the wrong place you are afflicted by a very bad smell for two to three weeks. Is this really what we want? My wife tells me it is not.

So yet again I fall back on fantasy. There must be an agency out there, Rent A Cat, which will provide a feline for a few days at reasonable cost, a feline which – unlike me – will be able to traverse the eaves, yea even unto the small nooks and crannies, and rid me of these troublesome rodents.

If there isn’t, well, I have identified a market niche and can rush to apply for a business development grant – something which I like to think must exist in these entrepreneurial times.